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Dating your ex once again can be a run a risk. If you get well-nigh it in an emotionally healthy way, you may be able to rekindle your relationship and make information technology stronger than always. Focusing on how you've grown and what you lot tin can both to do become better partners can brand your new relationship flourish as you try again. By keeping a level head and communicating conspicuously, you can start dating your ex once again in a healthy, stable way.

  1. 1

    Focus on your own life first. Breakups are tough, and dealing with emotional pain is never piece of cake. Try to piece of work on yourself by eating well, exercising regularly, and working on your own personal goals.[1] If your ex sees you equally a more than well-rounded person, they'll probably be more than open to dating you—and this could even attract them to you lot again as they see what they're missing.[2]

    • Approaching your ex when you aren't doing well might atomic number 82 to them pitying you, and no one wants that.

  2. 2

    Concenter your ex by staying aloof. If you text your ex constantly or send them messages on social media, they might feel overwhelmed. Stay focused on your own life and attempt to work on your goals until you feel confident enough to attain out again.[3]

    • Showing your ex that you're doing fine without them can brand them even more attracted to you.

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  3. 3

    Reach out when you lot feel gear up. If it'due south only been a few days since your breakup, it's probably too presently. Try texting or calling your ex when you feel like yous can handle a rejection, non when the breakup is still fresh.[4]

    • This tin be a little tough since there'south no set timeline for when you lot might experience "prepare." If you merely feel lonely or in need of a human relationship, you should probably await a little longer.
    • Y'all tin start the conversation by saying something like, "Hey, could we run into upwards? I wanted to talk about maybe dating again, if you're interested."

  4. iv

    Express your feelings and the reasons why you desire to date once more. Most people treat breakups like the absolute end of a relationship, so your ex probably isn't expecting this. Sit down with your ex and effort to listing the reasons why you think your human relationship could work this time, and be prepared to respond any questions they might have.[v]

    • You could endeavour proverb, "I know our human relationship was rocky in the by. I've really been working on fixing my bad habits, and I think we could really get in work this time."
    • Your ex may besides say no or exist hesitant about trying your human relationship again, which is valid. Heed to their concerns and try to work it out together.

  5. 5

    Talk about relationships yous had while you were autonomously. If yous dated someone after you 2 separate up, allow your ex know. If they dated someone for a while as well, enquire about it. You don't have to become into specifics, but you should both know about any other relationships that happened when y'all weren't together.[vi]

    • It can be tough to hear most what your ex did when you weren't together, but it's ameliorate to discover out now than be blindsided afterwards.
    • If your ex is upset that you dated someone else, attempt to address their fears or concerns before jumping into your relationship to avoid problems down the road.

  6. 6

    Agree to work on your erstwhile problems. When you've already been together, you both know about the issues that could arise in the time to come. As yous two talk virtually your new relationship, be sure to accost the bug that happened in the past and what you tin both exercise to avoid them in the futurity. Endeavour to stay away from the arraign game, and instead focus on actionable steps that yous tin can both accept.[7]

    • For case, if y'all fought a lot about money, hold to be more open up with your finances to avert any surprises.
    • Or, if you lot weren't on the aforementioned page about matrimony, talk about your life plans and where you encounter yourself in v years.
    • Or, if either of yous had trust issues, talk most being honest with each other no matter what.

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  1. one

    Take your relationship tedious. No matter what stage of your relationship you were in earlier, your new relationship is just that: a new one. If yous were living with your partner, engaged, or even married, just care for your relationship like you're dating again for the beginning time.

    • Taking things boring can also assist you lot both correct whatsoever negative behaviors that led to your breakup.
    • If you lot were living together, consider living separately for a while, fifty-fifty after you've gotten back together.

  2. two

    Create new memories instead of reliving quondam ones. If you were with your ex for a while, it might be easy to fall into the same patterns that you were used to. Try practise new and exciting things together to go along the relationship fresh and rekindle your romance.[8]

    • For example, you could have a weekly engagement dark to visit a new eating place you've never been to.
    • Or, you lot could plan a weekend getaway to a town you've never visited before.

  3. 3

    Piece of work on changing your old behaviors. If yous find yourself falling back into the patterns that caused problems in the first identify, recognize them and work to right them. You lot know now what could lead to a breakdown, and then try to avoid that at all costs.[9]

    • Information technology's one matter to say you lot'll be better with your money, but it'south some other thing to actually stick to your upkeep every month and avoid overspending.
    • You tin can also enquire your partner to check in with you about your bad habits. If they observe anything worrying, they tin let you know before it becomes a problem.

  4. 4

    Communicate calmly and respectfully. If your partner is doing something that you lot accept a problem with, sit down them down and talk to them about it. Y'all can besides ask them to do the same thing for you lot. Endeavor to talk about problems every bit presently every bit they come up, and do information technology without yelling or blaming each other.[x]

    • Good communication is one of the biggest indicators that a human relationship volition work. When your advice breaks down, that'south when the issues really start.
    • For example, you lot could say, "I noticed that you're staying out late again without calling me, and that's made me upset in the past. Could we talk about this before it turns into a huge upshot?"
    • If you lot're having trouble communicating, consider seeing a couple'southward counselor.

  5. 5

    Avoid talking about your breakup also much. It was probably painful for both of yous, and you don't need to remind your partner about information technology every solar day (or every time you lot get in a fight). Focus on enjoying the now, not living in the by with your bad memories.

    • When you concord to rekindle your human relationship, brand sure y'all're over the issues that acquired your breakup. If y'all aren't over them or you lot oasis't made your peace with them, y'all'll probably bring them upwardly to hurt your partner in the futurity.

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  1. 1

    Ask yourself why y'all'd similar to engagement your ex again. Is it because you lot're lonely? Or do you lot really miss your ex for who they were? If you think that you're just pursuing your ex again because y'all don't want to be unmarried anymore, you should take some fourth dimension to work on yourself.[11] [12]

    • Getting into a relationship just to be in a relationship usually doesn't cease well, especially with someone you've dated before.

  2. two

    Clarify the reasons you bankrupt up in the first identify. If y'all however aren't over it or you haven't fully processed it, you should probably hold off. Really call up about the problems in your relationship and what acquired your carve up before you get-go talking to your ex again.[13]

    • For example, if your ex cheated on you, you might have to consider whether or non yous're willing to forgive them earlier you lot get back together.
    • Or, if you just grew apart, you might desire to think about how you could reconnect and rekindle your relationship in the future.

  3. 3

    Remember about the bad times every bit well as the good times. When you look back on your relationship, it'south easy to merely think nearly the times when you 2 were really happy. However, before you make up one's mind to pursue the relationship once again, think about the times when you were pitiful, angry, or frustrated. Are you lot willing to risk going through that once again, or is it too much to handle?[14]

    • If you're having trouble remembering the tough times (these tend to fade with time), consider asking your friends about it. Chances are, they'll think when you talked about your frustrations in the relationship.

  4. iv

    Stay away from your ex if your relationship was toxic. Toxic relationships tin exist easy to miss when you're in them. Recollect most how oftentimes you and your ex fought and how expert y'all were at communicating your issues. If yous brought out the bad in each other, it might be meliorate to move on.[xv]

    • Again, you tin can talk to your friends and family about this, likewise. They've probably recognized some bad patterns in your relationship, even if you haven't.

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Add New Question

  • Question

    Should I start dating my ex again?

    Amy Chan

    Amy Chan is the Founder of Renew Breakup Bootcamp, a retreat that takes a scientific and spiritual approach to heal after the end of a relationship. Her squad of psychologists and coaches has helped hundreds of individuals in simply 2 years of operation, and the bootcamp has been featured on CNN, Vogue, the New York Times, and Fortune. Her book most her piece of work, Breakup Bootcamp, will be published by HarperCollins in January 2020.

    Amy Chan

    Relationship Coach

    Good Answer

    Back up wikiHow by unlocking this good answer.

    Not necessarily. It'due south normal to miss your ex later on a breakup—your brain is even so looking for the comfort that you used to become in the relationship. Nonetheless, that doesn't necessarily hateful it's a good idea to become back together.

  • Question

    Why do I want to get back with my ex?

    Amy Chan

    Amy Chan is the Founder of Renew Breakdown Bootcamp, a retreat that takes a scientific and spiritual approach to heal afterward the end of a relationship. Her team of psychologists and coaches has helped hundreds of individuals in just 2 years of functioning, and the bootcamp has been featured on CNN, Faddy, the New York Times, and Fortune. Her volume well-nigh her work, Breakup Bootcamp, will be published past HarperCollins in January 2020.

    Amy Chan

    Relationship Coach

    Expert Answer

    Support wikiHow by unlocking this adept respond.

    Feeling deplorable and missing your ex later a breakup is natural. When you lot first get together, you lot experience a big flood of chemicals that make you feel exhilarated and close to your partner. During a breakup, your brain experiences those same chemical reactions, but in reverse.

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  • Your ex might non desire to engagement you again, and that'south okay. Endeavor to focus on yourself and move on when you lot feel ready.

  • If yous're having trouble talking to each other, consider seeing a couple's counselor to go a 3rd-political party perspective.

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